I don't matter much to anyone at all. I’m beginning to notice that I’m not so important. I don't even feel wanted. I just stick out like a sore thumb. I mean, people only talk to me when theres no one else for them to talk to. I know i'm not a whole lot of hell interesting. It’s like I don't see any point in talking when theres nothing left to say. I don't think anyone wants to talk to me anyway. All i'm good at is bottling up everything. I'm not really sure how to be a friend. They say if you a friend you have to be a friend, ok well i obviously suck at it cause i... have no friends. wow. ok yes i am pathetic. I don't exactly see why i should make friends with people when a) i'm a horrible person b) people are going to end up leaving. I thought parents were always suppose to be there for their kids and all, knowing where all their stuff is and knowing what shit they're going through. But my parents, they just seem more interested in their own lives rather than mine. They rather do what they like than help me ): I just wish they would love me enough to make the world a lovelier place for me to live in. Adults they make promises they can never keep and you know what hurts? The fact that they don't even bother to do something to stop the hurting. I've never wanted to feel this way - feeling of being so unloved but its like my parents they don't even bother about me. I think they love me but they never show it. I'm feeling damn insecure these days, i wish they would just prove that they love me more than they love their work. I cry myself to sleep but they don't know that. And yet they want me to get things that aren't within my reach. I have no fucking idea how. I wish people wouldn't change and things would always stay the same - Happy. Maybe its a fantasy but i really want it to become a reality please. I'm feeling damn fucked now. So fucking helpless. I need to be found.

Labels: personal