bluff

FARZ (she/her)
27/SG
definitely not who you think i am

"I have come to love myself, for who I am, for who I was, and for who I hope to become.”

- Joon

Thursday, April 25, 2024 6:40 PM

on healing from burnout and wwoofing in japan

been rather down in dumps lately (mercury retrograde please be over) so i figured that i owe it on me to think about happier times

is it just me running away from reality because being in singapore just makes me feel overwhelming anxious about life?

my wwoof japan days were good for my body and soul but the realistic side of the singaporean me knows it's not feasible (for me) to be a full-time long-term wwoofer

the low down in numbers
times wwoof-ed: 2 (first in nov 2023, second in feb 2024)
total days spent on farm: 30
farms wwoof-ed at: 3 - natsumi (tanabe, hongu) / sammy (chiba, isumi) / ogurayama (nagano, azumino)
range of length of stay: 8 to 12 days
hosts that were female farmer: 2.5
sole wwoofer to having fellow wwoofers ratio: 2:1
my japanese language proficiency: 0

the good

wwoof-ed during autumn and winter seasons so the weather was not that bad for working outdoors for this sg girlie! hot and rainy autumn days meant sweat-stained shirts after a hard day of work but cold and snowy winter days meant wearing 3 layers of gloves to work and still having cold fingers??
waking up early and sleeping early (mostly by 12) - maybe is the physical exhaustion from working or the cold or the lack of wifi sometimes but going to bed and falling asleep was so easy for me. in comparison to living in singapore i stay up sleep late and wake up late (am i the problem huh?)
i loved the daily routine that brought me so much peace - wake up/breakfast > morning work (8/8:30 to 12/12:30) > lunch > afternoon work (1 to 3:30) > rest/shower > dinner (6 or 7) > sleep
commute to work was factored in the working hours as the farmers always drove to the farm which could be 5 to 15 mins away or at most it was a 10 min walk to the host house in hongu if we weren't working in the vegetable garden
the smell and taste of fresh tea/fruits/vegetables just hits you some (good) kind of way
waking up to the beautiful mountain views in hongu and azumino just makes you feel that the world is so much larger than you
the snacks shared, the meals cooked, the tea brewed - food really is the asian love language

the adjustments

went from doing laundry every night with the washer/dryer to every other morning because clothes were dried under the sun outside to being very cautious to not overtly dirty work clothes during winter so i could rewear them if necessary cause clothes were hung to dry in the room (which evidently takes a longer time in the cold winter air)
love japanese toilets with all my heart so the farm with a bidet-less toilet was an adjustment for my bowels (but hey i pooped in a floating house toilet before, so what's pooping on land without a bidet?)
farming is ardous - i'm not sure if i would prefer to squat for long periods of time (stimulates my want to poop feelings) or climb ladders and squeeze in between branches to reach parts of tall fruit trees (brings to light my slight fear of heights and falling)
not needing to lock the front doors - this city girl anxiety but trust people
didn't know family members share the same hot water in bath tub so i accidentally drained the water that one night cause i went first and i was on my period

highlights & experiences

washing cabbages in the cold while very much needing to pee
encountering the following vegetables for the first time: soft daikon (such a bitch to prep), satoimo (thought it was potato but oop it not), chayote gourd (mild taste)
going to the onsen with the host family on my first night
my renewed love for kaki (persimmon), pots of hot tea, and homemade popcorn
outdoor cooking and dinner at satsuki's house by the fire underneath the moonlight
got red eyes from sun reflecting in my eyes and having to constantly squint
following tama-san to a folk dance class in matsumoto city even though i have two left feet and don't understand japanese but the japanese elderly in the class were so welcoming
singing karaoke without vocal backing
hearing akio-san share about yamagishi-ism and wondering if a socialist society would thrive
the free-roaming chicks and chickens
lunch at the beach
going to the onsen with the host family on my first night
listening to tama-san play ukulele and movie nights with the family
going to the community museum and then to the supermarket
nabe dinner with sammy and her friend
the cat at brownfields
walking back home in the dark and only seeing as far as my torch would light
coming across an usuyaki shop that was playing taylor swift 1989 that had the friendliest obasan who explained the different varieties she made
squeezing oil out of dried tea seeds to be made into a balm

lessons & reflections

after working on 3 farms, i still cannot tell if that is a weed or an onion seedling
a farmer is more than just someone who can keep plants alive, you are a soil scientist, an educator, a technician, a marketer etc
for someone whose family only sits at the same table for meals during special occasions, having meals at the dinner table daily was very heartwarming
there's something satisfying about cooking your meals based on the produce you harvest that morning
in awe of the self-sufficient lifestyle of building your own house, making your own things, growing produce just because you want to eat it
organic farming is not a one size fits all solution
you can be a sole farmer but you are always surrounded by the community
my dream car (if i ever learn to drive) would now be a kei truck lol
being in japan by myself made me rediscover my love for walking aimlessly everywhere
tama-san is around my parent's age but i feel that her life is so much more richer with the activities and people she surrounds herself with instead of just working....
after having conversations with the host/other wwoofers, just me endlessly wondering if i am singaporean enough?

would i do it again? in a heartbeat, always