The fact about people saying "I don't care" is not what they really meant. What they are trying to tell you is, "I really care but I just want you to fuck off." They act as if it's no big deal, but technically it's breaking their heart. We're liars, we lie all the time. We lie to ourselves, lying & having to believe that everything is okay when clearly, nothing is coming out right. 
Honestly, i have no idea why but the people i tend to fall for are those that wear glasses. I SWEAR THIS IS NO LIE. SERIOUS. Maybe its the way the glasses frame up their faces or maybe it makes them look intellectual, serious or maybe i just like nerds. I like men in uniform too omg /swoons ok. I think f is cute. Sigh ok honestly i have no idea if going to a girls school for 10 years is a good idea cause now its like i don't know how to be around boys without being awkward. Ok i'm just afraid of rejection and i like being lonely so. But i still want to be loved. I want to fall in love. Find someone who'll make me feel important like i'm needed and love me despite all my flaws. But i don't feel ready. I don't care if all the teenagers have their other half now. I don't care if they're happily in love. I don't care if teenagers are having sex now.Whenever i used to see couples on the street, I was like ew. But now i guess its sweet. I want to fall in love. I want to believe that love at first sight really exist, like when our eyes first meet, they'll be this instant chemistry and you'll just smile and walk away. Then we'll meet again and this time you'll ask for my number. (ok sorry i feel so cliche and all but i'd really like to think love is like a fairytale.) I guess nobody is going to love me cause i'm ugly and fat and so i'll grow old with 20 cats or something. I think falling in love is kinda lovely. I think being in love would even be lovelier than that. I mean when you're in love, its just so incredible. The feeling you get when your eyes meet theirs and the feeling when their fingers are intertwined with theirs. When they surprise you with present, when they run up to hug you after not seeing you for so long, when they appear at your doorstep with icecream when you feel lonely and when you can feel their love for you without them saying a thing, when they smile at you and their eyes say that they'r in love with you too. That kind of feeling. When all the small things come together, its like so asdfghkjl. I'd like to think that being in love is more than just...sex. I'd like to fall deep in love with someone for who they are and not how they look like. I wish everybody would fall in love cause when everybodys in love, they're all happy and smiling. I can't wait till i find you. ok sorry corny to the max. But i guess since i have no beauty or personlity i will actually not find love or learn how to love. Ok i think jason chen is amazing. I guess whoever gets serenaded by him is one lucky girl sigh sigh sigh sigh. I guess love is blind afterall.

Labels: personal