dinner with the homies was so so lovely and it made me realise what a shit friend i am for always being late and stuff and it was nice catching up and all - i felt so loved cause i didn't expect them to surprise me as well wtf so SO fucking lovely of them i also like how it was so easy to talk to them (ok granted i dont talk a lot but like i don't have a lot of friends that i can talk to like that in nus - do i even have uni friends or are they all hi/bye yup i sux)

not sure if there were hell lots of orders today or i was just inefficient??? (i actually thought that i had completed all the orders but wtf i actually missed out a lot) i need to stop thinking that kh/fh hates me even though my gut says yes - office so quite without j/b but apparently gonna have another intern (wowz)

things that pissed me off today

- i wanted to avoid your bike and you obviously wanted to avoid me??? maybe my reflex slow but who the fuck do you think you are to hard stare me down for 5 seconds -this may come off as petty but i hate people who think they're fucking entitled to the pavement 

- i s2g i had peak hour and people and just crowds ugh @ everyone within 5m radius

- fucking hate conflicts at home that exist fucking hate it lah why can't people get along why can't people give and take you all are the reason for making me not believe in love like do you all even love each other why does it feel like an obligation that you got together and have me and stay together - this is how toxic society is it makes you feel that by not getting married/a partner you are inadequate and then you begin thinking that and you make stupid decisions 

- idk i used to think that i had a happy family (my parents love me my grandparents love me my aunts love me) but as i grew older everything began falling apart i don't remember the last time we spent time together as a family that was NOT during a holiday or a special occasion 

- so angry because i know i am also responsible for the strained r/s in my family and i know its allah telling me to get close to him so that all the relationships in my life will be ok

- i dont want to turn 21 because i cannot tell the bank/insurance/credit people that i'm underage because thats not the truth  

(to be continued)