help me

these feelings envelop me
and swallow me whole

i don't want to feel like this but this emptiness eating me alive

is this a sign to turn back to you
and repent


/////////////intermission///////////////

i don't regret taking geog or nus
but i do think about the other possibilities

i know i am mediocre and that i am not
the sharpest tool in the shed
i just wish sometimes i was
good at something
grasp it and proclaim to others
i am useful

only week 2 of year 3 and i am very drained
not sure if its because
of socio-cultural geography
(is it i cannot wrap my head around
all these abstract concepts)
              or am i just a bad geographer
it's not that i don't like what i'm learning
i really do

but it's like i never leave class
calm and resolved
i leave feeling more ?????????
than i came

it doesn't help that everybody else is on their
first class highway
while i'm still trying to shift gear
it's so difficult to manevour
these roads in a beaten up tracker
when you're surrounded by convertibles

Labels: personal, university